His, Hers, and Theirs : A Couple’s Turkish Hammam Experience

Of all the places I thought we might end up naked this year, Turkey was definitely not on the list. But there we were, 6 months into our trip sitting in an uncomfortably small towel wondering what exactly we had just gotten ourselves into. You see friends, this year for Matt’s birthday we decided to have a relaxing day at the spa. Or so we thought. When we decided to spend some time in Turkey, our thoughts immediately turned to the traditional Turkish bathhouses. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to visit the hammam and really, what better excuse to drop a few Turkish liras than celebrating my husband’s birthday.

Choosing A Hammam

Istanbul is home to a wide variety of hammams. Ranging from high-end luxurious hammams that are mostly visited by tourists, to the no-frills versions popular among locals. As backpackers who closely watch our budget, we settled on one that fell somewhere in the middle. A few days before Matt’s birthday, I set up an appointment for us at Aga Hammami. First opened in 1454, this bathhouse is among the oldest in the city. Relatively inexpensive and still offering the services we were looking forward to, this was the perfect choice for our budget.

If you are on a one or two week vacation and not so budget-conscious, you can find other hammams nearby that are much more self-indulgent for a higher price tag.

What Services are Offered at a Hammam?

When you go to a hammam, the main attraction is getting clean! And believe me, when you walk away at the end, your skin will never have felt softer. When you first enter the hammam, you’ll be handed a small towel to change into. It is better known as a pestemal.

Our Shared Experience:

For the first portion of our experience, we were kept together.

Since we arrived as a couple, we were shown to a single changing room. A small pestemal for him, a slightly larger (but-still-too-tiny-for-comfort) pestemal for me. We tucked away our clothes, stepped into our provided sandals, took a deep breath, and opened the door to the unknown.

Step 1: Soaking of the skin

When we exited our changing room, we were immediately led down a short hallway and into the public bathing arena. The first step was to allow our skin to start soaking up the water. We were sat down on a piece of marble next to a basin with free-flowing water. The hot and cold water spouts were both running to create the perfect temperature. The water overflowed the basin as we scooped it into our buckets, pouring it all over ourselves and each other. Ahh, the heat running over our bodies did feel nice. Just as I let myself close my eyes to enjoy the water, Matt filled his bucket from the ice cold spout and tossed it in my direction. Needless to say, retaliation didn’t take long. Before we knew it, we were being redirected to the next phase of the bathing ritual.

Step 2: The sauna

It conjures up images of relaxation and detoxification while wearing nothing more than a skimpy towel and a smile. This part was supposed to be way more enjoyable than it actually was. The heat was so thick we were choking on it. With no phones in our hands or watches on our wrists to tell time, the +/- 15 steamy minutes we were supposed to spend in the sauna felt like an eternity. I still think we lasted no more than 4 in total, but we’ll never know for sure.

The sauna is supposed to loosen up your skin to prepare for the cleansing phase. All the steam soaks in to your body making the soon-to-come scrubbing that much more effective. We’re just not used to the high heat, but if that’s your thing, you can relax and enjoy.

Step 3: The slab of marble

In the center of the public bathing arena is a large platform of heated marble. Upon leaving the sauna, we were sent to lay on the marble and wait to be called for our scrubbing. At first, it wasn’t bad. Kind of nice, actually. A reprieve from the intense heat of the sauna. After a few minutes ticked by we were in a daze just staring at the ceiling. A pattern of holes opened up to the outside, allowing the sun to shine in and see what was going on. Just two unsure Americans laying in their hot, wet towels pondering what was to come next. That’s it, nothing more to see here…

And just like that, our concentration was broken when a staff member summoned me for my washing.

“That way, the door to the left”

I gave a small wave to my husband as we parted ways and I sheepishly tiptoed in the direction of the indicated door.

Her Experience:

The door creaked when I pushed it open as if it was trying to draw attention to my awkward entrance. When I saw what was waiting for me on the other side, I wasn’t sure I had chosen the right room. This had to be a mistake.

There she stood, all of 5’3 yet still looking like she could snap my neck. But that wasn’t what had me freeze in my tracks. No, it was the fact that she was sans clothing. Big mama, in the house, and letting it all hang out.

At first, I thought I had accidentally walked in on someone else’s session. It wasn’t until she wagged her finger towards herself, indicating I should fully enter the room that I understood this was going to be like no spa I had ever been to before. I didn’t have much time to contemplate the situation though. She quickly shut the door behind me, yanked off my towel and commanded me to lay on the table. Business as usual.

Step 4 : The Kese Glove Treatment

A cleaning method used since the Ottoman empire, but new to me. A special glove called the kese is used to scrub your skin which is now loosened up from the sauna. The glove helps to remove all of the dead skin, leaving a fresh and softened version of your former self. Some people claim this can be a very rough and even painful experience. For me, it was mostly just frightening to see the pile of dead, dirty skin now clinging to my body. And then she tossed a large bucket of warm water over me, sending all of the dirty bits and my feelings of disgust down the drain.

It was mostly a painless process, unless you count a bruised ego. Nothing quite compares to having your towel pulled from your body, exposing the fact that you just gorged yourself on a massive Turkish breakfast. The lady also spoke very little English, possessing only a set of commands she would often repeat.

“On your back. Turn over. Face down. Sit. No! Uh-huh.”

Ahh, when I didn’t respond quickly enough, she would repeat and motion with her hands. I didn’t expect to feel so incompetent in receiving a bath. But really, I didn’t mind. This was a testament to the fact that this wasn’t purely a tourist operation.

Step 5 : The Foam Bath

You just haven’t lived until you’ve had the foam bath. Once all the dead skin is removed from your body, the best part of the bathing process takes place. Big mama dredged a piece of cloth through a bucket of soap then heaved it through the air allowing the fabric to fill with air. She then proceeded to drag the silky-feeling pillow-esque sponge across the entirety of my body. It sent plumes of soapy bubbles all around the room and for the first time since I stepped into the room, I was fully relaxed. When finished, she gathered buckets of the warm water to rinse off all the soap. As the bubbles spiraled down the drain, I was under the impression my bath was over.

Then in a surprise play, she commanded that I sit on a bucket. Little did I know, I was having my hair washed as well. Unexpected, but delightful. The shampoo was fragrant but not overpowering and I was happy to be relieved of the duty for the day.

Finally, my session came to an end with the command to stand up. Big mama wrapped a fresh pestemal around me, nodded as if to say “thank you” and then directed me back out the door.

In the basic hammam package, this would be where you return to the changing room and bid farewell to your hammam experience. However, since we were here on the excuse that it was Matt’s birthday, we also purchased the additional services of an oil massage and facial mask.

A Brief Encounter

I stepped out of the room at the exact time that Matt was also stepping back into the hallway. Our eyes locked, both slightly bulging from our heads. What the hell did we just experience? At this point, the shared look was all we could communicate, but we could tell we both had stories to share. They would have to wait.

Step 6: The Oil Massage

As directed by a hammam attendant waiting in the main room, I made my way up to the third floor where my masseuse would be waiting. This time, the door was already opened so there was no grand entrance. The fully clothed woman on the other side was a welcome sight. But she wasted no time.

Once again – off with the pestemal! A place where nudity is the norm and modesty is unheard of, I guess this is to be expected. Being just minutes removed from the bathing process I endured, this hardly struck me as unusual. So I climbed onto the massage table and out came the oil.

My experience with professional massages is limited, but usually there is a serene environment with tranquil noises and dim lighting. Here, quite the opposite. In fact, the door to my room was never completely shut and I think a lost man on the way to his own massage stumbled in at some point. Face down, that’s what I gathered from the gasp of air and the back pedaling of feet.

Aside from all that, the massage itself was enjoyable. All of the usual suspects. She rubbed the oil into my back and shoulders, feet and legs. I wondered to myself if Matt was currently enjoying his own massage in a neighboring room.

Her hands quickly moved from my hands, up to my arms massaging along the way. Nothing unusual about that.

And then it happened.

Her handsy palms glided over my boobs. Hmm, that’s never happened before. Wasn’t expecting that. But the stoic, emotionless look on her face indicated she does this dozens of times per day.

If she hadn’t already pegged me for an American, my bewildered look must have given it away. Only Americans are so averse to these things. Oh well, when in Istanbul.

Step 7: The Facial Mask

Without much warning, a glob of thick clay was zeroing in on my face. There wasn’t a whole lot of excitement to this portion of the hammam day, but it was a nice way to wrap up the session. After the masseuse finished smearing on the mask, I was wrapping my pestemal back around myself and headed down the stairs.

At the bottom, I was greeted by the same attendant who sent me up for my massage. He offered me a glass of hot tea and to go relax on one of the loungers while my mask finished drying. Just then, I was rejoined by my husband who was now resembling a green goblin.

His Experience:

I was spun on the marble like a dreidel during Hanukkah. After Megan and I were separated, it was time for my scrubbing. My scrubbing was done in the community bathing area by a young man and his glove of love. This magical glove cleaned my skin better then I think it has ever been cleaned. The awkward moment came when he was exfoliating my inner thigh. I fell out of my towel as two young girls across the room watched and giggled to themselves.

After The scrubbing I was moved to the marble table in the middle of the room to complete my cleansing. Here, he first lathered me in a soap and oil mixture and then I was given a “massage” that consisted of cracking and joint manipulation. It was so slippery against the marble. This is where I was spun to whatever angle he needed. While it wasn’t relaxing, it did feel good in a somewhat painful type of way.

I changed out of my wet towel and was given a new one so that I could head upstairs to the massage room. There, I was greeted at the door and quickly laid down on the table. It was a deep tissue massage that was greatly needed from all the long walks wearing a heavy pack. Before I knew it I was on my back having my mud mask applied. Just like that, my massage was over and it was time to be reunited with my wife.

Our Shared Experience :

We headed back upstairs with our tea to relax. Not wanting to discuss the details of our experiences quite yet, we just raved about how soft our skin felt as we sipped our beverages. After about 15 minutes our glasses were empty and our faces began to crack. It was time to rinse up and head home.

We cleaned our faces in the sink, changed back into our clothes, tipped our attendants via a small box by the exit, and left refreshed. Before we left, we did have the option to blow dry our hair at the hammam, but opted to forego that and head straight for a beer. The tea was a nice touch, but birthdays were built for beer. Ahh, happy birthday indeed!

Final Thoughts on Visiting a Turkish Hammam:

Visiting a Turkish hammam might sound a little scary, especially if you don’t know what to expect. But the locals have been participating in this practice for hundreds of years. It was one of our most memorable experiences in Istanbul and we wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it. If you Just go in with an open mind you’ll be rewarded with the softest skin you’ve ever had. Seriously – so soft!

We try to do something memorable each year for our birthdays. In the past, we have drank wine in Stellenbosch, went glamping in Western Maryland, and conquered the Tail of the Dragon. I think it is safe to say Matt will be remembering this birthday hammam in Istanbul for many years to come!

Cheers friends,

Megan + Matt